Ask Alee

Q: So, like I got a call from my ex-boyfriend a few days ago and he told me about how he missed me and still loved me and thought we should get back together. But the thing is, we broke up 3 years ago, the relationship wasn’t that serious plus we only dated for 2 weeks so I never thought he would do something like this. We ended on good terms, the relationship only ended because I guess we got a bit bored with each other. Anyways when he said we should get back together I said yes because he’s lowkey fine, I can’t lie. When I told my friends, they got mad at me and told me I made a mistake. They reminded me that 2 days after we broke up, he already had a new girl so he was probably cheating on me. But the crazy thing is tho, I also got a new boyfriend a week after we broke up and never told anyone so wouldn’t it make me a hypocrite if I said I didn’t want to date him even if I did the same thing? Anyway, what should I do? Should I break up with him? Because I don’t really want to but my friends think I should. 

Honestly, I can’t really tell you whether you should break up or not, I think this is a case where you have to spend some time with him and realize whether you still want to be with him. 

Keep in mind that he may have been cheating on you (maybe not explicitly, but still talking to girls he had an interest in during the relationship) as your friends said, because even though you only dated for two weeks, I highly doubt you can just get into a relationship with someone that fast with no previous feelings, and honestly the same applies to you getting a new boyfriend a week later. Did you have feelings for the new guy before or even during the relationship with your ex? If so, then it might be the case with him too.

You broke up because you got bored of each other, and if you were bored during the relationship, which may have led to him supposedly cheating on you. “…boredom with the [marital] relationship may lead both men and women to cheat.” (Verywell Mind, 7 September 2023)

In addition, you say you two dated 3 years ago, and only dated for 2 weeks because you both got bored with eachother, I assume you’ve both changed a lot over the three years, so I think you should try getting to know each other again and see if you do really want to be want to be with him.